The next few hours

Well think at the positive side.. It’s not that bad.. after mental therapy, I’m feeling very much better.. I was too negative thinking.. When I was sad, all the negative things will flow in my mind.. I just don’t know why.. I heard some kind of brain wave from my friend.. This thing actually do exist, and it’s really works if u really believe in something.. I had test it and it success all the times.. Actually I know my own problems, it’s the experience and what I had seen influence me a lot. Ya la it’s the fact but if u forget about it and enjoy it u will feel more happy and enjoy your life.. Hard times its just an experience in our life and we sure can go through it no matter how hard is it.. Thus take it easy and be happy and u will be more healthy too..

True is fake...

Fake or true? U cant tell anymore as long as there someone that expert in pretending..
Lately I’m dealing a lot with these facts.. Actually I deal with it a lot.. I’m tired of finding out the truth.. cz the truth is always fake and cruel.. It’s now an auto set to my mind that all is just a fake.. lately I got family crisis to handle.. My sister is planning to divorce and going to sue her husband for abusing her.. she thought she found her everything when she met that guy.. According to my sister, the man treat her nice before marry.. but the truth reveal after a year after their marriage.. he humiliates, beat, scold my sister and yet treat her like an animal.. she was married for three years but she never get a penny from that guy.. Even when they have 2 kids.. For me, my sister is an almost prefect woman.. she has everything the so called whole package.. she got the nice sweet face and body, she is a caring woman that’s make her a very good nurse.. Everybody in the hospital like her as her personalities feel comfortable to be with. She is a good cooker too. Besides that .. she is a very good daughter. Well compare to me.. .. Sigh. Thus these make me felt no confidence to get a true love.. I met one guy that very in love with her dream girl, although rejected but he still very in love with her.. although he deny that but I know deep inside his heart this is not true.. but I felt weird that we are really close as the times goes by.. Everybody thought we are the couple.. The most weird things is i think I have a bit feelings for this guy and I know he has the same feeling for me as well.. but I’m not really sure that this is the true feeling or just an illusion.. May be he is lonely and I was there every time when he need someone.. But I know I just want to be good friends with him.. Because the truth will destroy all the wonderful things.. I don’t want any of us heart broken in the end.. He is nice and good but I know that I not worth it, he should get a better girl instead of an idiot.. I was very naïve to think that I’m finally met the right one.. As the truth is I was just the replacement of the girl of his heart.. I’m negative thinking? Well this is the truth..

Lately~

Its been a while since the last blog.. I guess I have to write something in order to mental therapy myself.. So this is the real world.. I think im just too naïve and weak. But I do know my weaknesses and I try hard to change... I want to be an independent and strong woman... I guess it’s just harder than I thought... When I want to fix something out but it seem to be messing up with me... Is it im not concentrate enough? Or I have to fix my brain.. Im stress and felt tired.. But compare to my sister this is nothing.. Im really weaker than her.. Well actually I wanna work things out, but finally I screw up everything.. Im feeling really guilty and keep asking myself why I cant just do it in the proper way.. May be this causes the headache.. I often had headache.. that cause the anger and I cant use my brain in that condition.. Am I sick ? Or Im just giving myself excuse? I’m always sick.. Do I still need another holiday.. Is it I’m trying to run away from the reality? In another way of saying that I’m really weak.. I cant even defend myself and I’m feeling scare when come to deal with something big.. I’m lack of confidence due to the mess that I always did.. Am I not trying hard enough? How much longer I can stand.. I not tough but wanna pretend to be one.. Or shall I pray more? I need more luck than I thought…

my daughter

my lovely daughter.. a daughter of me and kelvin.. the second guy that i love so much in my life.. and give me so much pain and fear before break up.. although he was suck but he was a caring person..he left me nothing but this daughter .. its remind me of when he kiss our daughter and he hug her like he hug me .. thus i tried to abandon her.. but couldn't.. when i saw her its remind me of u .. but now better d .. thus i decided to keep her instead of dump her or keep her inside my cupboard..i notice that i shouldn't run away from my problems.. i should face it ... that will make myself happier too..

GEENA

my lovely poem.. it was created by yipin... so romantic... i love it very much...

" Great pleasure god gave to meet u,

Eventhough just a short period with u,

Empty heart of mine had filled with love from u,

Nobody can break the relationship between me and u,

As my heart and soul had been conquered by u. "

although i already broke up with u long time ago.. but i still kept ur letter and picture...

第二印象深克的男人

第九月四日沒有你的日子 （晴〕

勇。。偶然的初次相遇造成我宗身的悲痛。。愛一個人原來可以原量他的所作所為。。our story is like fairy tale story … basically he is a nice guy but guy ma sure got some evil thoughts… cannot satisfied of what they have… and never cherish it … I really stupid that forgive him of what he had done to me … am I blind or stupid??? Is it love can make a people blind… till now I though I can forget about this bastard but I was wrong… I will never forget him ... I was stil hoping to see him… but it will make me worst…it’s really hard for me to start a new life without hunting by the past … but lately the picture and the gift that he gave me remind me back the pain… I hate him but yet I stil love him… is it? I don’t know … really complicated… I was really disappointed after I heard that he was still loving his ex ex gf… then he was lied to me when I found out this secret… then is it everything is just a lied… am I just a game or puppet to u ?? sad~~ I ran away from everything about him… but I knew that it won’t help … so I choose to face it … I suffer for so long but u started another relationship less than a month after we broke up … I was just a puppet to u … a puppet that love u deeply… but I thankful that we broke up because I was more happy without u …

Friendship forever

this are 5A student.. they are all of my best friends... We are really close in form 4.. we go to travel together alot.. really sweet memory we have at those old days.. but after reached form 5 , all the things had change .. i can feel that there is a storm inside the classroom... not as happy as last year .. last year our class is the most noisy in the whole block... i was one of the noise maker haha~~ many people had change ... good friends become enemy... no more laughter ... may be one of the reasons is due to stress ... SPM ma.. long time afterwards.. all the things had change... today is hooi wen's sister wedding day.. thus we took this opportunity to gathering ... after that dinner we went to star garden.. the karaok.. that day we were really really high... i drank some beer too cause im really happy that night ... most of the people drunk already... one things that really touching is that the enemy ( hoay bin and bee thing ) hug each other... i was really shocked... may be we were adult already .. and what is pass is already passed so put down all the burden like the profeesor said " put the glass down " then u will felt more happier .. i totally agree... unforgettable night in my life.. i will never foget that .... friendship forever till the end of the life ... cheers...

Bra

I got lot of hobbies but my favorite one is to collecting those gorgeous and unique bra... my favorite brand was triumph... expensive bra but worth because really pretty and comfortable.. The most expensive bra I own is 80 riggit .. I was really sakit hati with my wallet but on the other hand im really happy to buy it .. Im lost control when buying bra.. Although im broke but I cannot help it when I saw a nice bra.. Last year , my buddy gives me a bra as my birthday present .. Really surprise and happy.. haha~~ some people may think that why buy such an expensive bra , it’s just wore in inside .. nobody will see it .. but it’s different for me .. I felt happy and in a good mood when im wearing a comfortable bra and nice bra.. I am an active person so I move a lot thus I really need a comfortable bra that won’t make me felt so comfort.. Actually I don’t like to wear bra.. the first thing to do when I reach home I to remove my bra.. but I have no choice because I’m a girl ma, have to wear it no matter what .. I still remember when I was in form 5 .. As usual I have a little nap after school then went to tuition after that .. but that day I overslept thus I was very rush and I forgotten to do something .. that’s I forgot to wear bra.. when I notice that I already on the half way to tuition.. tak kan I tell my father that pls drive me home cause I forgot to wear bra.. haha~ stupid and forgetful as usual .. that day I cannot concentrate on what the tuition teacher trying to teach .. luckily my breast is small then I just need to bengkok abit .. and nobody realized that .. I got one wild and crazy idea.. what will happen if I dint wear bra and walk in the street ?

White Rose

White rose... give me a feeling of clean and pure... It's my favorite flower and was also my first flower that I received from a guy... It’s was really romantic and unforgettable moment... Is that guy my bf? no... I never received flower from the one that I love... pity isn’t it... Actually I do not care whether my bf give me flower o not? but its show how sincere they are... at least they’re trying to be romantic and make me happy... I got one stupid wishes... that is when I die, I hope that all of the people come with one white rose on their hand... is it stupid or I’m thinking too much?

Advantages and disadvantages of being a cute girl

As I was saying in my profile, I am a girl that trying to make myself look more matures... Well the nature cute appearance and attitude make it hard to come true..I am sick of people keep saying that I’m a little girl... well I’m not anymore... I admit that although I do not look like a mature girl and all the sometimes acting like a childish little girl but beneath inside I’m a very mature girl... the cute appearance has advantages and disadvantages...
Well the advantages are:
1) most of my friends treat me as if they treat their little sis
2) I once had an admirer that younger than me for about 7 years old...
3) Many people ll saying me like a pet...

Disadvantages:
1) It’s because of the appearance people calling me siu mui mui ( well for me people who calling that people siu mui mui because the girl is very very naïve and easily cheated by guy)
2) If I wanna choose a husband surely I wanna find a mature and has his old carrier but a mature guy prefer a mature girl too ..
3) When u’re working people treat u like a little girl and they did not really trust on what u can do...their thinking is “ what can a girl do “ ( I hate that a guy look down on a girl )
4) Cute = look like a kid... thus people like to bully u too... although I do not mind people tesing me all the time but sometimes fed up ..

Well that’s it... I had enough all of this... I was wishing to become mature like more independent and people trust u and treat u like a adult … so I was making myself to change to that but not change to old lady .. haha~ Thus this is why i like curly hair very much bacause can look more mature .. i like it but most of the guys said that the looks doesnt suit me .. sad ..

so hopefully i can perm my hair again after i successfully keep a nice long hair ..

手心太陽

張紹含的歌曲，也是我最愛的歌曲之一。。手心怎么會有太陽？是不是指可以醫治人的一雙手？其實我也不知道，不過以我個人的看法我覺得是一雙可以帶給人溫暖的手。。就象被自己心愛的人抱在懷里式的。。好溫暖及充滿安全感。。感覺自己是世上最辛福的人了。。我好久沒有這種感覺了。。何時才可以找到一個屬于我一個人的手信太陽呢？

what i want to do with my bonus ??

the first thing that im goin to do is to buy me a nice handphone..This is my latest desire.. i was hoping to buy a handphone after getting my first bonus in my life.. this is also a 22nd birthday present to myself .. but its a really hard to decide which kind of handphone and model to buy .. the hp that i desire was in 4 digits numbers of price .. wow.. sakit hati if i drop my that phone as i was a very careless and clumsy person.. hopefully the bonus are more than i was expected la ..

Home16

The happiest in my life was living in this house with all of the cool housemates... I was moved there with my friend Ginny... she is also my classmate... at first I was not agree to move in because of the number16... it’s not just an ordinary number .. It’s my 1st bf birthday number... I was been through a really hard time because I was trying to forget him but it’s just a coincidence that the thing that related to him always appear in front of me... make me sick about that .. But in the end, I thank god that I had moved in to that house... Although the house is already old and hot but all that matters is really happy living there... After school I and Ginny straight rush back home... This picture was taken during Ah Chen birthday... After taking this picture we through the cake and at last everyone dirty like a cat... ha~ (what kind of description is that??) Missing the old days when v all crazy and hanging out together tills late at night... Well the happy days surely won’t last long... all of us move out one by one after graduate and we seldom contact anymore... (Sigh...) but u all are part of my sweet memory... So god blesses u guys...

永不毀滅的痕跡

那就是伤痕。。皮肉傷可以全愈，就算有疤，都不會對日常生活有太大的影響。但心中的傷就不一樣了。看不着也模不着，只能默默的忍痛忘記過去。每个人都有自己的故事。。我想说的是我的一为最要好的朋友的不幸遭预。。未遭预这事时她还是对单纯，对任何事总是乐观的，但现在的她变了许多，不担悲观而且自甘堕落。。现在连笑都不再是发自内心。。去年的某一天她遇上了他，傻瓜競然一见中情了。可能是命中注定他們很快就在一起了。。這男的實在是太利害了，表面工夫作得太必真了，讓我朋友相信他是真心的。。從一開始就不停的要求與他發生性關系。。我朋友思想保守又自愛，當然沒答應他。。不過沒想到會發生這樣的事。。
雖然我朋友沒答應與他發生關系但他男友一再一的灑奶，她心也暖了，她答應會每個星期都會去他家過夜一天。。她好喜歡躺在他的懷抱，好溫暖哦，就算沒睡覺看着他睡覺也很滿足。。真是傻瓜。。一天不幸的事終于發生了，一夜。。他到她男友家去，因男友向她灑奶，要求他到家來醫他的相思之苦。。當天電話沒錢了也打不出去了，到達他家后沒辦法CALL他，本來已打算回家但剛好有位UNCLE剛回家于是她就與他借電話CALL他。。那位老伯還叫他小心點。。她覺得怪怪的。。但沒想這麼多了，他又一再要求那個東西了，今次不一樣了，他手足不受控制的對她不規矩起來。。號象已經不受控制了，無論她怎么反抗也無法阻止他。。就這樣她被自記所愛的人強。。。。。。了。。。。事后她還哭了，不是因為那痛處而是心中的痛。。那苯男人不知苯還是真不知為何她會哭。。回家后還仍然流血。。真的很痛。。她心好亂不知該怎么辦。。好狠他又同時好愛他。。她有想過結束這斷戀情但卻不舍得。。最終她選擇了愛他所以原諒他。。沒想到這男的不但不珍系而且還遭蹋她。。這段戀情維持了3個月但卻叫人痛苦一生。。往事對她產生了恐劇感。。時間是她維一的解藥。。。。。

Me and Fish Leong

Fish Leong. A good singer. Why I compare my picture with hers? It’s because some friends of mine said that I looks like her.. Do I ? Of course me myself do not think so .. or shall I said that I do not want to look like her because she is not so pretty ma … ha ~It’s doesn’t matter that I look like her o not but what it’s really matter that is I like her singing..

Bossy

SP Tan, my boss.. haha~ This picture was taken during Kenny birthday.. The naughty ahpek took it when she is very hungry because waiting for so long before the meal was served.. she is the best boss I ever met.. she is cincai and side us when somebody trying to cari pasal.. she always said that Andy Lau is her husband.. well u can see that she is as 38 as me .. haha~ don’t cheated by her serious look.. Actually she is a person that full of sense of humor and I heard that she’s very talented in singing .. such a cute girl but still single .. Is the guy on earth blind?

Alex Wong

Alex Wong.. Once is my boy friend.. BOY friend ?? I suppose is a GIRL friend.. Actually he is a she.. She is a tom boy .. Really looks like a boy isn't it ? Why I accept him , am I out of my mind ? I suppose I am.. How I met this "guy" ?? Well it's a long story .. I met him when im working in cafe .. I remember him well because something happen during our first met.. The story begins like this .. " He told his friend that im pretty, and would like to know me .. Thus his friend straight told me this .. Without thick twice , I straight reply her that .. { Isn’t that he is a girl} alamak .. Make him paiseh lo .. " haha.. he surely took my attention on him.. his out look and voice really has no different with a guy .. I can say that he is more stylist than a guy .. it's a coincidence that I met him again in bistro .. really is a fate .. he really does look cool when he's dancing .. cool man~ I was dancing beside him .. then this is how v knows each other.. I thought I was normal but then his sweet talking and everything had drive me out of control ... I had felled for him at last.. v started our relationship on Christmas.. but end after a month.. short but it's really an experience.. but also a nightmare cause im keeping dreamt of my mom crying for being a lesbian.. don worry mom .. im not, I think I still normal for now ..

Fantasy Girl

i admit that she really beautiful indeed.. she have everything a pretty woman should have that is beauty, health and wealth.. she has her own carrier which is she own a cafe named oh yeah .. her face is so so so damn pretty and her sexy body maked all of the guy stared at her.. i believe no guys can resist her.. even me.. her smile is really killing.. she is really wild and open minded.. change bf like changing clothes .. omg isn't it .. well what to do pretty girl sure got alot of choice and may be she is still young and playful .. her name is 真真，真的是个大美女..

一个美丽的心意

我从小就很喜欢Christmas..所以也很喜欢雪。。虽然没看过，可是总可以想象嘛。。我真希望可以到国外躺在地上观看下雪时，当阳光照在雪上的一募，就如这项链一样。。我把这个心愿高述我某位朋友，没想到竞然给他找到。。他在一个我毫无准备下送给我。。我还蛮惊呀的。。我每跟他提起的事他都尽力为我做。。我差点被他感动。。但可西我仍然忘不了过去。。我只能说我辜负了你。。对不起。。和谢谢你为我所做的一切一切。。我不配拥有他。。但我会把他收在心底。。

插着一朵鲜花的牛粪

我个人认为这张照片照得还不错。呵。。这张照是在某年某月的一天，我的猪明哥生病入了院，于是我趁火打劫玩弄他哈。不是时常都有这个机会哦。照中肠伤的他，好可怜，连我都狠不下心欺付他。主要内容是，我还蛮惊呀，一个这么皮的人背后竞然是一为在爱请方面可以那么的单纯。更不可思易的是他重来都没有拍过拖，而且还保留着初吻。就在几天前，我号不容易说服他告诉我他与他女神的故事。在边说故事时，他无意露出象小孩般的一些举一动，从他表情可以感觉到单纯初恋的感觉。所以说人不可貌相，一个表面上喜喜哈哈的人背后锺会有克古民心的故事。其时我觉得他们还蛮瞪队的，听说猪明哥向他表白的事已经是3年前的事了，哎。。。为什么好的男或女人锺得到这样的下场。唉。。。我希望我的猪明哥可以早日早到他的另一半。

Kenzo

KENZO a perfume that cost RM150...It’s a limited edition o. suppose girl should use girl’s perfume but me use guy’s perfume... Weird isn’t ? Actually I did not use perfume until I met this guy .. I assume that I was cheated to buy a perfume .. Cause this guy didn’t kept his promise .. I bought this perfume in LANGKAWI when I traveled to there with yeong chian and saw ling on dec of 2006.. Well this guy influence me a lot .. I still remember how it’s like to fall in his arm and I like the taste of the perfume so much .. That’s how I started to like perfume.. The taste of the perfume is so special.. Unlike any other perfume the taste is mild but yet very nice .. During the LANGKAWI trip yeong chian planning to buy a perfume .. Thus I was thinking to buy a perfume for him as it’s cheaper to buy it at there because it’s duty free..
He said no need but he asks me that whether I want or not cause he wanted to buy for me ..
He asks me to pay first then he will pay me back .. walao eh ~ it’s a new way to give girlfriend present ?? then I trust him so I bought the perfume .. who knows he never give me back and unfortunately we broke up already .. he never gives me back the money and he borrowed money from me some more.. he will never return to me until I asking him to .. what kind of guy is this .. he had a lot of excuse saying that he’s busy this n that .. finally he showed he’s true face .. I was relieved that I broke up with him although I still have feelings for him but I must accept the fact that he is a bastard..

Juicy

Wao!!! Lenlui.. who is she? My buddy ? nope.. I don’t know her at all .. I saw her gorgeous picture in my ex bf camera.. and the most weird thing is he lock her picture so that the picture will not be delete if somebody accidentally delete all the photos.. I was a bit suspicious who’s that girl ? is he like her too ? I don’t care la .. but the more weird things is I cant help myself to look at her picture once I found her friendster.. she attract me with her smile and beautiful skin.. I dint felt any jealousy on her but I’m kinda like her small fans. She put a comment in most of the photo (without make up) walao eh.. She was telling people that she has natural beauty izit ?Thus I was really curious that she is that really pretty beneath or may be I’m just comparing whose is prettier..haha girls ma .. She can attract girl like me so I bet many guys will Thus I was really curious that she is that really pretty beneath or may be I’m just comparing whose is prettier..haha girls ma .. She can attract girl like me so I bet many guys will fall for her too .. I’m a bit worried about myself. am I normal? I really scare that may be I’m evolving to bio sexual or something else.. Hopefully I’m not.. I got some crazy idea flow on my brain.. ( may be I can send her the picture that I edit but may be not ) ..i just keeping asking myself is it normal for a girl to look and admire a girl like a guy ????

Memory

was i trying to write about myself when i was young- 17yrs old ? no no its about the familiar view that i like so much but it was no more exists.. but stil i kept it in my heart .. u can see the golden padi field during harvesting season..when the sun set.. i like to drink beer while enjoying the view.. when it was goin to regrow the padi the padi field is full with water like sea..

i enjoying watching the sun set view.. stilkl thinking whether i got to see it in the future... miss that alot..

Superboy and little guardian

keys..2 key's with different key chain..which is different meaning ... what's makes it woth post up is the silly story behind it ..
usually im goin bck hometown every weekend .. but i have to stay to do OT on that week .
suppose i had to wake up early in the moring like usual working days .. but today i over slept .. and my collegue come to fetch me as usual .. i just woke up when he miss call me ( arrived signal ) thus i was really really rush to bath and done all things up thn took my house key and lock my room then ran to down stairs.. when i was trying to open the door .. ops there the most silliest thing i done this yr .. alamak .. i though i was in hometown so i took the hometown key which with the super boy's key chain with it .. omg .. how am i goin to do ..
there is nothing to do eccept goin out by the back door.. the room is connected to the next room via toilet .. thus i had to wait till my housemate back .. omg .. really black head man.. luckily i can broke through the bathroom without broke the door ..
thus from the day on i'll always remember where i am and take the right key ..

God gift

Eyes.. wow .. me myself admire my own eye .. i have my mom's eyes .. and which is god gift.. but too bad it need the help of spec to see the world .. i call my self before wearing spec and after wearing it as beauty and the beast as really looks so much different ..

Food Poisoning

few months ago, i was having stimboat with my dear colleague.. i was really happy that day because got to eat alot alot my favourite food -- KAPA .. too bad i think i ate too much of it then i have to suffer from diarrhea.. i suffer that whole night.. thought recover after drinking 100 plus.. so i went to eat KFC with jolin but then i suffer diarrhea whole night again .. 100 plus wont save me this time .. damn suffer..... the day i fear KFC..

SpiderMan~

who is that old man ?? he's my department's business directer.. this picture was taken during my department hi tea on 11st August.. that day me and my dear hanis had won lucky draw.. after the lucky draw section all of the lucky peoples of the day were request to take photo together with our big bos..suddenly he bos come and stand by me and he smile at me .. oh my god .. the spiderman that i know was very serious and straight person.. cant believe behind that he is a nice person.. then i straight hold his hand without think much .. i think it was the effect of the drug that i took as i have fever on that day .. the smile on his face had change the impression of him to me .. he is actually a nice old man after all.. the next day in work .. i was famous.. alll the people talking about me and this little old man.. aikkss.. they are really pure traditional thicking...i just holded his hand to take photo, that's all and nothing more.. do u all think that i did that to seduce him or hoping him to promote me or something.. oh pls .. i cant stop people talking about me, but all i need to do is to think before i do in the future .. i think i will never go to the department function again .. felt really dissapointed..

君

君，林少君.. baby.. someonmany people curious that its a boy name o girl name? well me myself also don't know cause there's a boy that has the same name with me during secondary school... aiikss..Thus many people like make fun of my name.. there is even more ridiculous when i was a e had mistaken by writing lim shao chin to lim shao chun.. damn.. that from that day on .. people will laughing once they heard this name and starting to give me some nickname as well... that time i don really like my name .. thus there it goes the name geena... my sister give that name to me cause it was similiar with my chinese name.. ever since i studied in KL everyone calling me geena.. Thus i felt so warm when people calling me 林少君.. most of the people who calling me that were my family and those old friends of mine.. from that day on .. i knew that my name was special and i should thanks to the one that gave me that name..

Whit3

The name by the White cause people thinking about is this girl think that she's very fair .. or she thought that she as pretty as snow white .. oh please.. there's alot of posibilities.. why their thinking are so narrow.. white can be alot of meanings.. the reason why this girl named herself as white because she likes white colour alot.. her first rose in her life was in white colour too .. but that's not the main reason why she named herself white .. its the one of the character in the korean cartoon --> White the @range story.. (white) so cute .. love it since the first day she saw this little white ..